Rubber Ducking
Rubber Ducking – the act of explaining your problem to an inanimate object in the hopes of clarity.
I first found this concept in Ryder Carroll’s book, “The Bullet Journal Method”, and it struck me as silly. So silly, in fact, that I had to try it myself. Luckily for me, I was gifted a small duck toy not long ago. It’s about the size of a pencil eraser and, for a while now, has just been living on my car’s dashboard. Its name is Ducksworth and it now sits to my right, on my desk, ready for my bullshit.
The principle of rubber ducking is simple: articulate the problem fully to said object and, if you can do so clearly, it’ll be easier to find a solution. To do that, you must ask yourself and your object a few questions:
- What is the problem?
- What isn’t working?
- Why isn’t it working?
- What have you tried?
- What haven’t you tried yet?
- What do you want to happen?
For Ducksworth’s first trial run, I was skeptical. I wanted to test if this practice actually worked, but I needed some kind of “control”. Deciding to keep it simple, I sat down with the duck tchotcke and the following exchange was had…
“Hello, Ducksworth. I have a problem that I would like to go over with you, if you have the time.”
“…”
“As long as it’s not a bother, of course. You’re not busy are you?”
“…”
“Great. I’ll just get to the meat of the matter then: I’m having a really hard time getting out of bed lately, and I fear it is negatively affecting my mental health.”
“…”
“I go to therapy. I take antidepressants. I meditate. Things that have worked for others just aren’t working for me.”
“…”
“I have some theories as to why it’s not working, but no clear answers. I’m desperately trying to understand what I’m doing wrong, so I can course correct.”
“…”
“It’s kind of a cyclical issue. I don’t have a lot of energy, so self care is hard. Since I struggle to take care of myself, I’m lacking in self worth. I beat myself up a lot, which takes all the energy I have, leaving me with not much left.”
“…”
“I’ve done what I consider to be ‘the work’ and I’m not really seeing results. I know I have to try something different, but I feel lost as to where to go next. I want to feel better. I want my life to feel intentional and like I have purpose.”
“…”
“I’m stuck in a series of all or nothing thinking, holding myself to an impossibly high standard that I would never hold anyone else to. If I can’t meet this idealized version of myself that I’ve built up, I’m failing. If I’m failing, I lose the will to even try.”
“…”
“If the problem is this big, this existential, I need to break it down into smaller parts. Get really granular, but not all at once. Incremental steps that don’t feel so intimidating or unachievable. I have no clue where to start though.”
“…”
“Motivation is pretty fleeting. I want to be consistent AND patient enough to see improvement. I want to see the big picture but start small.”
“…”
“I’m talking in circles to a plastic duck. I need to get out of my own head and do something. I do not want to keep sitting around, contemplating what my best options are, too terrified to be wrong, and not acting.”
“You’re already wrong. At least, by your own ridiculously high standards.”
“What?”
“You’re already wrong. You’re not doing ‘enough’ and are unhappy with your current circumstances. You’re paralyzed by indecision and, in doing so, you’ve actually made the decision to do nothing.”
“but, I-”
“You make choices every day that only further cement these bad habits, not willing to even attempt to break out of the pathways you’ve worn down in your brain.”
“I’m willing!”
“What’s one thing you can start doing that will improve your life a day from now? A week? A month?”
“Uhm…”
“Start small. One thing you can do consistently to break into a new neural pathway. Something tangible and measurable.”
“...drink more...water?”
“Sure, it’s a start. So, how can you set yourself up for success right now?”
“uuuuuh”
“Eliminate decision fatigue as much as possible. Fill up a water bottle and keep it in arms reach. Keep it by your bed so the first thing you do is take a drink. Do this every day for a week.”
“and then what?”
“Keep doing it. Keep drinking water throughout the day, and then next week we can add another habit.”
“...am I hallucinating this advice because I’m dehydrated?”
“It’s possible. It’s also likely that you’re less inclined to take care of yourself if it’s you telling you to do it. So, do it for me. At least, until you feel confident you can do it for yourself.”
“You’re banking on my people pleasing tendencies to keep me hydrated?”
“No, I’m a plastic duck and you’re projecting insecurities onto me.”
“Oh.”
“Drink some water.”
“ok.”